Who Will Win the NCAA Championship?
Who will win emerge victorious from the Final Four and win the NCAA National Championship Game?
Dumb
The Final Four is here, but it’s really the Fina 2. Michigan State and Villanova, thanks for comin’, it’s been fun, like sex without a condom. But the keepers are UConn and UNC. UNC was the early season favorite, and with Ty Lawson back, they’re gonna look to run-n-gun. But UConn’s got the 7-3 Thabeet! Hansbourough is gonna have that wide-eyed “Gizmo from Gremlins” look on his funny face all game as he gets swatted over and over by Hasheem. And this kid knows something about swatting, he’s from Tanzania, lots of flies. UNC is stacked, but UConn is reppin the toughest conference in the country: The Big East, with four teams making the Elite 8, two in the Final Four and even two in the NIT Semis. Plus, they have A.J. Price to combat Lawson, Stanley Robinson to keep Green or Ellington in check, and a 6 inch height advantage on Gizmo. I think the talent and the Big East competition is going to serve them well as they play their toughest game. This will be an instant classic, and I’m not betting any part of my cock-n-balls on it, but I think UConn will pull it out and win that ornery old bastard Calhoun one last title.
Dumber
I wonder who Lamar would pick? Ehh, he’s probably too busy exerting his worldly prowess at the G20. I hate Tyler Hansbrough and his teary-eyed Dad (and Lamar for that matter), but I have to go with NC. I always want the underdog to win, but the purpose of the D&D topic is to pick the winner. Lawson’s no longer being a big baby about his “toe injury” and the team overall has more talent than Rihanna has embarrassing bruises. In the paint, I thought for sure Blake Griffin was going to make Hansbrough look like a bigger D-bag than he already is, but no luck. Shooting from outside? The Sooners went 2 for 19 from 3-point range. Going forward, NC can out muscle Villanova (a fast team but with much less size). Connecticut is the worst of the 4 teams in my opinion, and I’d love to see the no-name Michigan State squad take the crown in Rock City but I don’t see it happening if they have to run against Tar Heels.
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