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This is an odd study that I hope to god was not funded by the tax payers.  I would like to start off this post by pointing out who ever wrote this article has zero understanding of sports.  How did I arrive at this conclusion? Take a look at the title of the article: “Cities with MLB baseball teams have a lower divorce rate!”  So what this is really saying is, Cities with Major League Baseball Baseball teams have a lower divorce rate!  I guess they didn’t understand that MLB stands for Major League Baseball.  To note this is not a common mistake made by people who frequent baseball games (which according to this article do so to save their marriage).  Who edits this crap?

The University of Denver Center for Marital and Family Studies has conducted a new study looking at divorce rates before and after cities got Major League Baseball teams. The study showed that cities with major league baseball teams had a 28 percent lower divorce rate than cities that wanted major league baseball teams.

My “evidence” shows that baseball has NOTHING to do with people staying together or not.  If anything I have evidence to the contrary.

In 1990, a year before Denver was awarded a major league baseball franchise, the city’s divorce rate stood at six divorces per 1,000 people. Ten years later, and seven years after the Colorado Rockies played their first game, the divorce rate had declined 20 percent to 4.2 divorces per 1,000 people. In contrast, the overall U.S. divorce rate dropped 15 percent. University of Denver (DU) director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies, psychology professor Howard Markman also studied divorce rates in other cities that welcomed a major league team and found a 30 percent decline in divorces in Phoenix, a 30 percent drop in Miami and a 17 percent drop in Tampa Bay area. While there could be many explanations for this significant difference, Markman stresses the importance of fun and friendship in a healthy marriage. Going to baseball games is one way couples can have fun together and talk as friends.  

Seriously? Have you ever seen the attendance at a Tampa Bay Devil Rays game? It’s one of, if not thee, worst in the MLB.  To think that the few thousand couples, (which is a stretch), that show up at a handful of games a year are an accurate sampling of the relative happiness and divorce rate of millions living in the surrounding Tampa Bay area is pretty heavy on the crazy sauce.  This is statistical malpractice.

True it is nice to go with your significant to a baseball game it’s by no means saving marriages like these ass clowns are postulating. “Going to a baseball game and not talking about relationship issues, but rather having fun and talking as friends is one of the ways to protect and preserve love,” Markman says.  I think this study is missing the basic fact that just spending time is ONE of the ways to “protect and preserve love” (although I don’t see how it’s possible to protect love with Baseball but that’s just me).  Also I typically associate going to baseball games with drinking beer and eating hot dogs, not a terribly romantic endeavor unless you’re this guy.

One last point to make here:  Professional sports aren’t saving marriages, their not bringing couples together, they are forms of entertainment and when people try to make these sporting events romantic interludes, that involve thousands of strangers, the consequences can be disasterous and hilarious.

“Walgreen’s stores are pulling a supposed likeness of President Barack Obama off their shelves. The ‘Chia Obama’ will no longer be sold there Walgreen’s spokesman Michael Polzin explained to FOX 13 that local store managers have the ability to purchase and market products — like the Chia Obama — on their own. But now, the corporate office has asked stores to pull the product from their stores because, he said, it is not appropriate for the company’s corporate image.”

I don’t get why they’re pulling Chia Obama from Walgreens? This is offensive? Whatever happened to our sense of humor?  Screw Walgreens, you can still purchase the Chia Obama, oddly enough, on the ChiaObama.com website.  I got two as they come in two distinct flavors: The Determined Chia Obama & The Happy Chia Obama.  I’m growing that fro out and there’s nothing Walgreens can do about it.  After I grow the fro out, I’m shaving his head to include a mohawk.  Oh, the horror.  The abject racism.

Everyone can now relax the blend of secret herbs and spices is safe and sound. “Col. Sander’s handwritten recipe for fried chicken was back in its Kentucky home Tuesday after five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret. Nothing went afoul when the recipe was returned from an undisclosed location to KCF’s headquarters late Monday in a lockbox handcuffed to the wrist of a security consultant.” What is this the nuclear football?

“The recipe lays out a mix of 11 herbs and spices that coat the chain’s Original Recipe chicken, including exact amounts for each ingredient. It is written in pencil and signed by Harland Sanders.”  All I can say is thank god it’s safe.  Imagine the kind of chaos that would ensue if the Terrorists had gotten there hands on this legendary recipe.

As I’ve worked to revamp Madness we’ve added a Dumb and Dumber column on the left side of the page to mix things up a bit.  Eventually we will be adding a star like rating system to the mix and you’ll be able to judge who has the “dumber” take of the week.

I would like to introduce two counter revolutionaries who will be debating the truly important issues of our time: From movie critiques and sports commentaries to inane observations regarding our sad state of political affairs dumb and dumber should provide you the rudder you need as we set adrift on memory bliss.

So it’s been awhile and yes, now, I am back and what better way to make a comeback then with a Menage a trois story involving a man and a few other inanimate playmates.

The Florida man, 51, was arrested yesterday after he was spotted fondling and making out with a pair of blow-up dolls in a supermarket parking lot. Shoppers called cops when they spotted Bartusek getting busy in the front seat of his 1998 Lincoln Town Car outside a Publix in Cape Coral.

The police arrived at the man’s house and to find a little boy wondering around the front yard with one of the old man’s toys.

Sorry for the delay in postings.  I’ve been designing the site.  Adding new peeps to the logo’s and designing a new flag.

You will soon be entertained.  In the meantime I leave with you with an interesting commentary on how to kill a vampire.

Madness will be back soon.  Can’t write everyday

Madness is at Dreamforce….be back soon….Foo Fighters playing tonight…when did software turn cool?

“Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., said that as president he would hold regular press conferences and “not just call on my four favorite reporters.”  But the Democratic presidential nominee hasn’t held a full press conference — submitting himself to more than a handful of questions from his whole press corps — in more than a month, since Sept. 24, 2008, in Clearwater, Florida.”

Yeah, he’s running for President and he hasn’t done a press conference in a month.  Doesn’t that strike you as odd.  Why isn’t he doing a press conference a day or at least a week to address policy proposals?

Obama bitchs often about the superficiality of the media and how they don’t ask good questions. “The media isn’t focused on the important issues facing the nation, he complains. On Saturday in Nevada, Obama sat for an exclusive interview with Mario Lopez, the actor who played “A.C. Slater” on “Saved by the Bell,” to air on the TV show “EXTRA!” According to the promotional materials from “EXTRA!,” “Asked about the tragic news that (actress Jennifer) Hudson’s mother and brother were killed Friday in Chicago, Obama states, ‘Oh it was heartbreaking, in fact I’m still trying to get a phone number to call her at this tragic time. She is somebody who has campaigned for me, she also lives in my community. So, we’re really going to have to help her and pray for her and her family during this difficult time.’”

No, no Barack is right it’s very important to address AC Slaters questions and concerns.

Not wanting to be out done Senator John McCain hasn’t had a press conference in over a month either.  This makes sense. Have you seen the outtakes from McCain’s last press conference? I wouldn’t let this guy babysit my kids.

These two men are running for President, not Congress, not the Senate, the Whitehouse. It’s nice to see that the press cares enough to cover this.

Barack Obama stresses his tax policy

Barney Frank Chairman of the Financial Services Committee thinks taxes should go up.

VP Candidate Joe Biden wants you to be Patriotic and pay more taxes. 

Don’t say I didn’t warn you when taxes go through the roof next year.