Streaking: The New Way to get Deported

This definitely qualifies as madness material.  A man in Florida got in a tiff with his boyfriend and in an attempt to end the relationship called the police with the intention to punch an officer and get deported back to Mexico. Authorities said a man claiming to be an illegal immigrant ran naked down a Port St. Lucie street so that he would be sent back to Mexico…He was charged with indecent exposure and being held for immigration officials.

Divinely inspired no doubt

Meet Fred

The creepiest smurf ever.  I believe I have found the exact moment where the Internet has reached a point of diminishing returns.

6th Circle of Hell…wait no that’s just the U.S.

I hate to be a downer but since this site is devoted to the MADNESS of our world I thought it appropriate to take a step back from the random violence and chaos encircling our world and obtain stock of the recent insanity that has descended like a dark cloud over our reality.

• 4 members of the Oakland police force were murdered by a thug.
• Illiterate, immigrant brutually murders 14 in New York State Immigration Center.
• Washington man murders family with Axe.
• Also in Washington a man shoots himself while viewing Watchmen. You can’t make this stuff up.
• Pittsburg man kills 3 police officers worried that, “Obama was going to take his guns.”
• Child found hacked up in a suitcase in Tracy, CA.
• Man kills his 5 kids when wife says she’s leaving him. Guess he must have been taking notes from another man who also kills self and family of 5 in after being fired.
• Another day another 5 people murdered in Alabama.

The scary thing is that all this evil has, for the most part, gone unnoticed as a whole and taken place in the past few weeks. With the 24/7 news and media pumping out the next big story we’ve lost perspective on the collective actions of the terrible few.

The Washington Post is now linking the 57 murders in the past month to the economy.

To top this all off the Lakers are in the playoffs, the Kings and Warriors are terrible, the Niners front office is a 3 ring circus, and my 401k is embarassing.  Outside of that things are looking rosy.

Colombia: Drugs, Incest, Front Yard Parking Lots

The Country that brings you Cocaine, Coffee, front yard parking lots and trashy 80′s movies is proud to present a new story sickening to the extent you might be able to call in sick to work.

A Colombian man has appeared in court accused of imprisoning his daughter and fathering 11 children with her. Arcedio Alvarez is said to have abused his daughter, now in her 30s, since she was nine years old. The case has shocked Colombia, and the 59-year-old needed police and army protection for his court appearance. Mr Alvarez, who the press have dubbed the “monster of Mariquita” after the area he comes from, denies incest and rape, saying his daughter was adopted.

Ahhhh. 10 bucks says he has a Snuggie.

Oakland Madness…4 Police Officers Gunned Down

Four Oakland police officers were shot and seriously wounded this afternoon after a car stop went bad, police sources reported. Two of the officers were gunned down outside their patrol car after they pulled over a car in the 7400 block of MacArthur Boulevard, not far from the Eastmont Town Center. Another officer reported was shot while in pursuit of the suspect. It was not clear where the fourth officer was shot. A suspect was later reported to also have been shot.

I think it’s time to reallocate our troops from overseas to Oakland.  This is getting ridiculous.  Peep this map of crime in Oakland. The map is littered with incidents of crime. Yeah this is an American city.  THIS IS OAKLAND!

Reverse Peep Hole In College Dorms

Throughout the years, University Housing has attempted to improve their security measures by establishing visitation policies, security monitoring and biometric hand readers, which scans students’ hands in conjunction with their UGA ID cards.  Aside from this, every dorm room is equipped with a peephole in order to provide extra security and precaution for every student. Yet, the extra security measure has been turned into a practical joke as a peculiar trend circulates through the residence halls – reversing peepholes so their principle function is to peer in on people, rather than allowing residents to peek out.

Ah didn’t Kramer and Newman do this first?

Continental Flight 3407 Crashes in Upstate New York

At this point most have you have heard about the tragic, ill fated flight from Newark to Buffalo that crashed tonight in Buffalo killing all on board.  Here’s the only live video clip I could fin on youtube below.  The flight was Continental Flight 3407.

Two points here: One, WTF?  Second point is a little more conspiracy theory but seems odd that two, rather large, sophisticated airliners went down within a few weeks of each other in the New York area.  Can’t remember that last time that happened…Let that ruminate a little.

Bay to Breakers is Over!

In a sad turn of events the long running Bay-to-Breakers event, in San Francisco, has come to an end; At least the fun part of it.  There will still be the 12k run but none of the debauchery.  Personally I don’t see how you can have one without the other but that is exactly what San Francisco is trying to do.

For the past half century Bay-to-Breakers has grown from a small race to a massive 100k plus keg party that looks more like a nude, extravagant, Halloween on wheels than an actual race.

“For 97 years the race has traversed San Francisco — most recently trailed by thousands of intoxicated (and often naked) participants pushing festive keg-toting floats.  It’s one of those only-in-San Francisco events that attracts up to 100,000 participants. But probably not any longer. This year, there will be a zero-tolerance policy for alcohol and all floats, according to a news release from sponsor ING.”

If you want to fight back against the man, email: info@ingbaytobreakers.com

Now where are dorks like this going to go for fun?

An ode to B2B

Bay-to-Breakers we will miss you so

Bay-to-Breakers why do you have to go

You welcomed us with open arms

Naked, drunk, we caused no harm

Floats we made and juice we drank

Many of us ended up in the tank

Tears we will cry now that you are gone

You will live forever as I toke from this bong.

All Good Things Must Come To An End

Worst Case Scenario Breaks Out at Burger King

Yes, you heard it here first (or maybe second or even third) the Burger King in Boynton Beach Florida; Yeah that one, is out of Lemonade.  Can someone please dial 911, this is an emergency!

“A man was charged with misusing 911 today for a midnight complaint that a Boynton Beach Burger King had run out of lemonade, police say.  Jean Fortune, 66, dialed 911 and told dispatchers he was “unhappy with his order” at the Burger King at 1521 W. Boynton Beach Blvd., according to an arrest report.”

On a brighter note business is up at local lemonade stands across America.

50 Traffic Citations in One Day…and he wasn’t Asian!

“Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed a urgent and horrifying news story, and I need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen.” 

“Elvis has left the vehicle. A man was arrested on more than 50 traffic citations — all in one day. Police said Elvis Alonzo Barrett, 46, fled from police trying to stop him for a traffic violation Thursday morning. Police said he ran through red lights, crashed into another car and a fence. Police said they found crack cocaine and a crack pipe in his car.” Come one you have to be smarter than that.  I mean leave the crack pipe at home with the wife.

Here’s Elvis.  I don’t see the resemblance.