I know there’s plenty going on right now so why am I spending time focusing on John “I chew my cheeks when I talk” Madden rather than commenting on the TeaParty rallies sweeping the country, or the fact that Tim Lincecum is looking like a bad #1 pick in my fantasy league or the governments recently promised crackdown on conservatives and veterans. So why the focus Madden’s retirement? First of all Madden’s a god. He’s as much part of Thanksgiving as the gravy. With John gone there is now a rather large and noticeable void in my life come football season.
Who – may I ask you – who will now write, intelligibly, on the TV as I try to watch the replay? What sportscaster will now take up the heralded mantle of bro love and shout their unequivocal man love for the Brett Favre’s of the sports world? Who will I turn to for objective analysis on my Thanksgiving Day spread? I wonder what kind of an impact Madden’s retirement will have on RV Sales?
Madden retires from the NFL scene taking with him a record which is sure never to be broken in my life time. Madden retires with the highest winning percentage of any Raiders head coach, ever.
John Madden who has been chewing meat and explaining sports since I was a kid is taking this weekend off to spend time with his family. Normally I would be ok with this but I’ve grown so accustomed to phrases like, “ah, See, look right here, see, and what happens, is, see, you got the QB, see, and he goes here, and then he goes there, and BOOM and that’s football.”
