John Madden who has been chewing meat and explaining sports since I was a kid is taking this weekend off to spend time with his family.  Normally I would be ok with this but I’ve grown so accustomed to phrases like, “ah, See, look right here, see, and what happens, is, see, you got the QB, see, and he goes here, and then he goes there, and BOOM and that’s football.”

Who else is going to say bootleg all Sunday?

Madden who refuses to fly as planes are the work of the devil takes a bus to every game. His streak of consecutively called games ends at 476.  Weak. Over the past few weeks, “Madden went from Jacksonville, Fla., to San Diego last week; he would have had to return to Florida for this Sunday’s game at Tampa Bay. There’s no Sunday Night Football game the following weekend, so Madden would have then headed home to the Bay Area.”

You know what really grinds my gears? NFL players DUI’s and the proportionality high amount of arrests to players. For some reason NFL players and trouble with the law go together like peas and carrots.  In 2006 alone almost 50 NFL players were arrested!  The main cause is typically DUI’s.  It’s so bad that there are whole websites dedicated to reporting crime in the NFL.

During Commissioner Roger Goodell’s almost 2-year reign, attention to off-field discipline and behavior has been front-and-center, players from the National Football League are driving under influence and committing various other crimes at alarming rates. It’s MADNESS!

There have been other “alcohol related” incidents recently, but even when focusing on just the specific transgressions of operating a motor vehicle to the degree that mental and motor skills are impaired, the volume of incidents is just staggering. It makes you wonder, “Isn’t there a solution?”  The problem is simple enough: NFL player drinks alcohol, then gets behind the wheel of a car. This shouldn’t be difficult to solve. We found a cure for polio, this should be easier, right?

So, what would a possible solution entail? Well let’s examine the make up of the league first.  There are typically under 2000 active NFL players during a season, not an extremely large group to cover. The players are all extremely well paid.  So hiring a driver or god forbid a taxi for an evening shouldn’t be a matter of funds.  Secondly the teams themselves have a stake in the players and therefore should shoulder some of the burden.  Not only are the players at risk but their careers in which these teams are financing are also at risk.  It seems that they would have a compelling reason here to protect their investment.  Question is why aren’t they not acting on them?

This should not be the face of the NFL.

Why does this group of Americans assume they can drive while intoxicated?  Goodell is obviously talking tough while carrying a tiny stick so Madness must do the dirty work.  I present a solution: 24-7 limo service.

Why can’t an NFL player, any active NFL player, have round-the-clock limosine service? No matter where they are, within the United states, they have unlimited limo service subsidized by the League. If I’m a player, if I’m Pacman or Jared Allen or Jevon Kearse or Seabass or Cedric Benson (who was recently ordered to have a breathalizer attached to his ignition) or….well you get the picture. Why can’t I call this number and say “I need a ride”? WHY? What semi-intelligent adult would STILL drive?  Please ignore the South when answering that question.  

If I had a safe ride home (CHEAP if not free) in one hand and in the other, I had the possibility of inflicting bodily harm to myself or strangers,  opening myself up to lawsuit, plus the loss of income (maybe permanent, ala Cedric), humiliation, fines, whatever, how would I, how COULD I, not choose the former? And, if a player does, it’s a 1-year suspension. Done. How could another player get busted again? And THAT’S what really grinds my gears.