As oil continues its epically awesome tumble, $.53 cents in 2 weeks, OPEC scrambles to try to save the only export, outside of terrorism, the Middle East and Venezuela possess.

In a desperate move to save oil prices from falling further OPEC members met in Vienna this week to decide what should be done to prop up the price of oil.  Obviously they’re not understanding that oil has cost way to much for way too long. OPEC will probably make a cut in production soon (if they haven’t already) which could impact the quickly dropping price of oil as, “the member nations account for two-thirds of the world’s oil reserves, and, as of March 2008, 35.6% of the world’s oil production.” Russia, Mexico and Norway (non OPEC members) should help to fill in the gaps from lack of production from OPEC.  Yet another reason to get our economy off oil energy.

A spokesman for OPEC, Jafar, pictured below, said in a prepared statement, “allah ak bar.”

OPEC President and Algerian Oil Minister Chakib Khelilpredicted that the price of oil will climb to $170 a barrel before the end of the year, citing the dollar’s decline and political conflicts.  WTF are “political conflicts.” Maybe we should be making more of a “political conflict” with Algeria.  I mean we’ve done so well with that foreign policy in Iraq why not?

“Oil prices are expected to reach $170 as demand for fuel is growing in the U.S. during the summer period and the dollar continues to weaken against the euro,” Khelil said today in a telephone interview. The leader of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries also serves as Algeria’s oil minister.”

Maybe we should look at alternatives to fuel rather than $2.99 gas guarantee or pumping new oil reserves off our coasts.  I’m all for exploring and mining new oil in a environmentally conscious manner but let’s say we start drilling off our coasts tomorrow it will take years before we see even a negligible difference in price at the pump.

I mean how cool does this look?

OPEC sells oil for roughly $140 a barrel. 

OPEC Nations buy US grains at roughly $8 a bushel. 

Solution: Sell grain for $140 a bushel.  There problem solved.